Almost Lover- A Fine Frenzy
DoomsdayTen/Rose

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget
These images

No

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should have known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do 

        Sorry for the delay, life and Harry Potter has consumed my summer! But i'm back now! 
                                                   Kate 
           
         Although Mike Doyle was deeply saddened by his friend’s assassination, he was more eager to see justice done.  When an equally shaken Buchanan came to see him to discuss how to bring the culprit to equity.  They did not to wait for the Bauer family; when they were ready they could request an update on the progress.  He didn’t have the history that many at CTU LA had with Bauer but he respected him.  Esteem for what he had accomplished for their country.  True, they hadn’t started well; then again Mike hadn’t started well with anyone at LA. In his mind above all else whoever killed the senior agent was no doubt a terrorist and that was their business.

            “How’s Chloe?” Doyle asked when he and his boss were sequestered in his office.

            Buchanan laughed rancorously. “Not well last time I knew.” He reported sadly.  He wished that there was something he could do for his friend’s widow. “You’ve had time, Mike, to think about the best route we should take to find this son of a bitch!” The director knew that his operative’s ‘wheels’ had been turning since he heard of Jack’s death.

            “Of course.” He sighed angrily.

“I know I don’t have to tell you, Mike that this has top priority.”

            “No, of course not.”

            “Oh and yes this IS personal!” This surprised Doyle; he hadn’t thought that Buchanan would make this personal.  He knew that he and Bauer were close friends as well as family now.  Not that he was against this kind of intimacy among his co-workers.  After his experience in Denver where no one cared about their co-workers, it was all about unbridled ambition there.  It was novel.  It was nice to have a director who truly cared about his subordinates. 

            After his beautiful wife went to the conference room to be with her family, Chase Edmunds went to see if his colleagues started the search for this blackguard responsible for his father in law’s senseless passing.  He and Kim had spent their time together consoling each other.  Jack’s death seemed to affect Kim differently this time around.  This is not to say that she wasn’t crushed, but she was not inconsolable as she was the first time.  Chase believed it was because her father died knowing just how much she adored him.  Those living usually had minor regrets time lot, more time when they were alive.  But with Jack’s first death she had lost contact with him of her own volition.  That weighed heavily on her conscience which made her grief more acute.  She now knew that she done everything in her power to repair their broken relationship.  That she understood him on a much deeper level.  And his dedication to his job.  She respected him for his service to his nation.  She saw the real Jack Bauer and wasn’t afraid of what was there.

            Jack was everything Chase wanted to be from the day they met.  Therefore it was better for all that his loving spouse understood her father.  On their sun drenched honeymoon he explained to her that being a single father as well he understood Jack’s actions. That conversation changed his wife. “Kim, in order to keep you safe, he sacrificed the one thing he cherished the most.  His relationship with you.” She admonished herself for she only saw her own pain.  She failed miserably at seeing her father’s. “Chloe said that he would her weekly to get updates on you specifically.”

            “So that’s why she was around all the time!”

            “She cared.  She just can’t show it in the ways others do.” He defended steadfastly. “She showed it by keeping a link between you and your father.” He vindicated.

            If anyone ever doubted Chloe’s adoration of her father should have witnessed the heart-wrenching scene that Kim walked into.  She was thankfully she wasn’t alone this time.  God bless him, Chase tried but couldn’t truly understand her grief.  Oddly enough, it had been two hours since she received that phone call from Clarissa, it felt strange to living in a world without her father.  His poor widow could still be heard whimpering in the halls of CTU.  Her broken younger brother was totally at lost on how to comfort their stepmother.  She could tell that he was desperately trying to hold his own grief inside and was slowly losing the battle.  Her mangled heart went out to him.  She gave a sad smile to her best friend and sister in law; who returned it.  “Chloe, Josh.” She whispered.

            She lifted her tear streaked face. “Kim.” Chloe bleated dolefully. 

            “Hey Chloe.” She greeted despondently. ‘How she’s holding up?’ Was her silent query.

            ‘Not well.’ Was the equally noiseless answer.  She nodded.  She would ask how he was doing but she knew she wouldn’t get a straight answer.  He felt as if he had to be the ‘strong one’ for Chloe and her.  So like their father.  The rugged rock that the weeping women crashed upon.

            “We’re going to get through this, Chloe.” She said more resolutely than she felt. ‘We have to.’ She thought.

            “I miss him so much already!” The other woman sobbed.

            “I know you do.” She soothed.

            “I hate feeling sorry for myself.” Chloe explained with self-disgust.

            “Chlo, you have every right to feel sorry for yourself.” Kim replied firmly as she grasped her stepmother’s thin shoulders. ‘We all do!’ She thought.

            Josh was indebted to allow his older sister take over consoling the lamenting widow.  Women seemed to know how to do those things better than their male counterparts.  Karen had long gone to prepare for the no doubt incoming dignitaries that would arrive for the forthcoming funeral services.  Former President and longtime family friend, Wayne Palmer had already arrived to help Bill in any way he could.  Terrorism had not disappeared because larger than life Jack Bauer died therefore Clare had to run CTU while her father devoted his time and efforts to unearth his friend’s slayer.  Josh finally had time to really deal with his father’s death.  His duty to those he loved came first and had been accomplished.

            Just stripping off the blood-soaked shirt made him feel improved.  But he was nearly fully recovered after a long hot shower.  He let the temperate water rush the day’s tribulations down the drain.  Although he felt better already he knew he…they had miles to go.  No, he hadn’t accepted his father’s death, probably never would entirely.  It aggrieved him to know that his and Clare’s children would never know their paternal grandfather.  He would never be a man to them but simply a mythological figure.  A picture on the mantle and a name. 

            “I thought I’d find you here.”

            “Clare.” He sighed contentedly.

            “How was your shower?” She sank next to him onto the cool metal bench that was surrounded by the lockers.  Sliding a dainty hand into his larger one. 

            “Therapeutic.”

            She smiled, grateful that he was able to find some sort of relief no matter how brief. “Good.” She would feel much better when he had his cry.  But that wouldn’t come until much later; when everyone else had been taken care of.  That was when a Bauer man could finally let his guard down.

            “I miss him, Clare.” He pronounced abruptly.

            She took his handsome face into her hands. “I know you, Josh, I know you do.” She offered a conciliatory smile. “I do too!” Her heart ached for her husband and his pain.

            “What am I going to do?” He asked, adrift.  He moved his head within her smooth palms to kiss one.

            “As girlie as this may sound, my darling husband, Jack is a part of you.  He’ll never leave you really.” She smiled hopefully. “Try not seeing as Jack’s stamp on this place as burden but a refuge.” What would he do without her? What did he ever do to deserve such a brilliant woman?

            “Thank you?”

            “She frowned in perplexity. “For what?” She really didn’t know?

            “For knowing exactly what to say.” He explained indebted.

            “Silly, I’m your wife.  Besides, I merely telling the truth.” She replied. “Sure, people can and probably will say that people who share the same emotional trauma are most likely to form a bond.  But I was there from the beginning of your alls ‘new’ relationship.” Her ever cautious father phoned shortly after Fayed had malicious detonated the only atomic bomb in Valencia to ask her to come into CTU for her own safety and his sanity.  The original plan was for Clare to be at CTU until Karen got there.  But of course she desperately needed to return to the White House after the second President Palmer was seriously injured in a bomb attack.  Truth be told she felt safer there.  And if California was going to end then she much rather be with her Dad then at school.

            She remembered well the first time she laid eyes on Josh that horrible day.  Jack had made a few medical returns to CTU.  Marilyn, Josh’s Mom was dramatically clinging to him whenever she could.  As if Jack was her lifejacket.  She recalled thinking ‘Lady, the poor man just returned from a country whose prison system isn’t exactly known for observing basic human rights.  He just found out that his ‘whatever’ expired in a car accident while he was absent.  Let him be!’ But movement in the waiting area caught her eye.  It was a terrified flaxen blonde boy who looked as if to be about her age. She didn’t blame him everyone in southern California was frightened after that morning’s occurrence.  From the look of him he had to be a nephew of Jack.  There was a remarkable resemblance to Kim.  A more cynical person would have assumed that the likeness to Jack’s own child meant he too fathered the young man.  But during her father’s tenure in LA she got to know his best field operative.  Over the years she learned that the man she knew would never treat his wife with such malice.  And from his actions outside CTU’s waiting area it was apparent to the voyeur that he did not return her amorous feelings.  Then again did he feel yet?  He had just returned from a Chinese penal complex no doubt he was tortured daily.  In ways most Americans would think as barbaric. For anyone to survive even Jack Bauer in those savage conditions was to mentally shut down, to go within themselves.

            But it wasn’t until a few days later that they were officially introduced.  It wasn’t by any means love at first sight.  They were instant friends.  But it wasn’t until the summer before their freshman year of college that their relationship changed. 

            “He adored you, you know.” Josh nodded forlornly.

            “I know.  I think that’s what makes it so much harder to take.  Because we as Dad’s family lost so much time with him.”

            “I’m sorry you didn’t have more time with him.  I know both of you wanted more time.”

            “There was so much left unsaid.” He hiccupped.

            “Not really.” She disagreed gently. “He knew all what was important. That you loved him.  I know it doesn’t make his death any less pointless. Or help for that matters.”

            “But it does help, Clare, you reminding me of that.”

            She sighed frustrated. “I feel so damn useless.”

            “You are far from useless.”

            “You’re hurting.  Chloe has a long and hard road ahead of her.  Kim has lost her last parent.  And there’s nothing I can do to help.”

            “You are helping, sweetheart.”

            “Humph.” She said as she pulled a face.  He chuckled.

            “I promise.  Would your adoring husband lie to you?” He asked with an arched eyebrow. 

            She rolled her eyes dramatically. “Is that a question, dearest?”

            “Funny, very funny.”

            She batted her eyes coyly at him. “I thought so.”

            “I know you sure thought so.” He quipped with an easy smile.

            “I sure did, buster.” She agreed assure of herself.

            “You see you’re making me smile.” He pointed out. “Dad wouldn’t want us to be gloomy.” He was right.  Jack would want his loved ones to move on with their lives.  Not dwell on their pain.  It’s ironic really since he wrote the book on brooding.

            “Glad I could do something.” She replied.

            “Something important, babe.” She finally nodded. “I mean it, keeping me sane is what you do.  And I need you more than ever.”

           Within that week Josh had come to him with his thoughts about what should happen next.  Josh wanted to start fresh.  To be as far away from everything that both Phillip and Graem ever stood for.  The business that Phillip killed for and the homes its tainted money brought were among its first casualties. 

            Kim got to know her younger cousin better as she stopped by the house to apprise them during dinner of her search for housing near CTU.  However she had secret secondary criterion, its distance to Chloe’s newly purchased condo.  Hoping that minor spatial arrangement would indeed urge them together.

            Kim even went as far to call her father’s best friend to enlist her assistance to watch over Josh and Jack.  A woman would need reinforcements when it came to two bachelors.  She knew that two men couldn’t be trusted to eat; much less have edible food in the fridge.  She had to disguise a giggle when her words worked.  The agreement might have been nonchalant but Kim could discern the underlying greediness.  To have a legitimate reason to visit the Bauer bachelor pad on a regular basis.  If she only knew that she didn’t really need an excuse to be there.  But Kim wasn’t going to take any chances in scaring her off.  Not when things were going relatively nicely for her Dad.

            So without her father noticing Kim had the men in her life moving into a modest home within a short drive to CTU and a brief walk to Chloe’s townhouse.  The ploy worked beautifully.  She was correct believing that neither her father nor the orphan boy he took in could cook.  So Chloe made it part of her routine to drop by after work to make sure that they eat.  Surprising all with her culinary skills.  It had been a long time since Jack enjoyed a home cooked meal.  Having a home prepared meal hadn’t been a priority since Teri died and Kim gone as well.  The point became mute when the reason behind it all was gone; the joy he felt when he walked through their front door was absent.  But now over time he felt that excitement at the thought of going home.  CTU became a job again and not his life.  Something he threw himself into, to escape his pain and remorse.  No more was he the last to leave.  He made sure whenever possible he left at a reasonable hour.  Meaning, bar any national security crisis he was home before 7:30. 

            Jack’s life changed yet again when adopted Josh.  But the one constant in Bauer’s life was change.  But the one thing that would hopefully never change was Chloe’s presence in his life.  For that he was forever grateful.  Maybe at times he took her for granted at work and in his personal life.  But he was never not happy to see her.  But somewhere along the way he began to see her in a new light.  Maybe it was because he finally slowed down enough to truly experience Chloe’s full effect.  Before he always breezed in and out of her life usually demanding something from her.  This time he stayed.  He was a little afraid that she wouldn’t like him as much after being around him so much.

            It was nice having Jack around on a more regular basis.  Seeing him more than a few seconds here and there in a twenty-four hour period.  Being able to relate to someone rather than a ‘safe’ computer.  No one was ever hurt by a machine.  Since Morris, Jack was the first person she wanted to risk her heart to.  She trusted him completely; she knew that he would never willingly hurt her in any way.  After what Morris did to her she thought she would never be able to rely on any man.  Well, Jack wasn’t just any man.  He was much more than the average man, not to mention sexier too! 

            Karen Hayes had been advisor to two Presidents and was proud of her legacy.  But standing in a room where she was utterly helpless to ease the suffering of family and friends was what she despised the most.  After all, she was a woman of action.  Action would stop her mind from betraying her, thinking about what if it was Bill in Jack’s unfortunate shoes and her in Chloe’s bereft place.  The scary thought shook her to her very core.  She had thought love would never come her way then came along and made her fall in love in a way she thought only young people did.  But now she couldn’t imagine living without her spouse and his now adult daughter.  Living without her spouse was exactly what poor Chloe will have to learn how to do.

            “He wasn’t doing anything dangerous.  He was doing everything by the book.” He promised. “Cautious even.”

            “I know.  He promised he would be careful.  That he would do everything in his power to come home to me and Wils.” She said through a stream of tears.  Karen moved so that her son in law could share a moment with his stepmother.  Hayes went to stand next to her own stepchild to offer her strength and comfort.

            Josh kneeled in front of the sobbing petite blonde.  He gently grabbed her thin shoulders to force her to look at him.  When at last she had executed what he wished she hadn’t, the look of sheer rue was clear on her face.  It took his breath away.  He had a job to do; she needed to hear his father’s last words.  He took a heartening breath. “Chloe, hear this if you never hear anything else I say, Dad adored you.” She only cried harder. “He wanted you to know that he was...grateful that you picked him.” She blinked in confusion.  What did Jack mean ‘picked him’?  Did he think there were a line of men knocking at her door?  Yeah right! Oh sure she was CTU’s most eligible bachelorette.  Not everyone can be blessed like Jack with good looks.  She knew that many of their female co-workers found him attractive and would go out on a date with him in a New York minute.  That the juiciest bit piece of gossip was why a ‘hottie’ like Jack Bauer would ever choose her.  “He was...” He paused to find the correct word. “Worried that you never saw his love for what it was.” He smiled. “He married you, Chloe because he was IN love with you.” The grieving widow let her stepson’s words wash over her. “He didn’t want you to think he married as some...repayment of a debt of gratitude.”

            “Believe him.” Clare said softly.  Knowing it would be the only thing that would keep her friend sane the next few days.

            Could her dreams have come true?  Could Jack have been ‘madly in love’ with her as Josh said?  She had married Jack with the knowledge that he did not love her in the same way that she loved him.  Or did he?  That had been okay with her, it was enough to spend the rest of her life with him.  Maybe some people would say she settled but she didn’t think so.  Her time as his wife was time well spent.  Could she be that blind?  She wanted to believe but...

             “Chloe, it was plain to see that Jack adored you.” Karen pressed.  Hoping that the younger woman would accept her words.  She was telling the truth.  She spoke often to her own spouse that it was nice that both Jack and Chloe found peace in each other.  Chloe didn’t seem to be a person who could be calm without an outside factor much less be happy.  Jack always seemed to be searching for his ever elusive missing piece. 

            Everyone was waiting for her answer.  If she allowed herself this luxury it would make her life more bearable to live now that Jack was gone.  If life could be endurable.

            Clare looked down at one of her closest friends and wondered why it was so hard for her to accept Jack’s love.  Wasn’t Wils a testament to their mutual love?  Why can’t she see that?  Not to mention Jack never shied away from telling his adoring wife that he loved her.  The man would absolutely light up whenever she walked into a room he occupied.  It just goes to prove how stubborn Chloe really was.  Because everyone else saw Jack’s love.  “Think of Wils, could he be that darn handsome if he was not made from love?”

            Chloe finally relented.  If it was Jack’s dying wish for her to feel loved why should she deny him this?  It’s not as if she ever could withhold anything from him in life.  Although it seemed odd to her.  That the hero’s hero could love an unsophisticated computer geek like her.  Okay, so maybe it was true after all they did make a baby together!  Stranger things had happen before, right?  Had she really known all along?  And refused to even entertain the possibility Perhaps!

            Karen’s soft voice broke through her hopeful deliberations. “If you will excuse me, I have a phone call to make.” It was a phone call she did not want to make but felt duty bound to do so.  She dialed a number she knew well. She went to find a dark and secluded corner of the hallway.

            “Hello.”

            “Good afternoon, Mr. President.” She greeted as warmly as she could muster.

            “Karen, I am simply a concerned citizen now, besides my family counts you as a friend.  It’s high time you started calling me Wayne.” He could tell something was wrong by her overly controlled voice.

            “Mr...Wayne...unfortunately I’m the bearer of bad new.  I’m at CTU as we speak.” What terrorist group does Jack Bauer have to bring down today?  How many times can this can this country be targeted?  He knew the answer.  He didn’t like it. He heard her take a deep breath before proceeding. “Jack Bauer was killed in the line of duty earlier today.”

            “What?” He questioned in total disbelief.  He hoped he head wrong.  His legs wouldn’t hold him; he sank into a nearby chair.

            “Jack and his tac team was ambushed.  Thankfully he was their only casualty.”

            He blinked. “Chloe?” He choked out.

            She smiled appreciatively even though her former boss wouldn’t be able to see it. “Doing about as well as one can expect.” She knew he would nod his response.  She knew him well from working closely with him for two terms.

            “Is there anything Sandra or I can do, Karen?”

            “No, not right now, sir.  Chloe, Josh and Kim are still trying to wrap their brains around it.  As you both remember.”

            He did remember. “You nor Bill should not hesitate to call if there is anything I can do.  I know I can speak for Sandra as well.  When the funeral arrangements have been made please let us know.”

            “Of course, Wayne.”

            “First contact the Secret Service might be prudent.” He could not help the smile. “You know particular they can be.” She smiled.

            “I do.”

            “Give our best and prayers to Chloe and the children.” He requested.

            “I will.”

            “Tell Bill to find this son of a bitch and nail him good.”

            “I’m pretty sure he’s already planning on it.” If she knew her beloved.

            “Good!  I’ll see you soon.” With that the difficult call ended.

            The LA team was different than other CTUs.  They took care of their own whereas from her experience with other ‘cities’ everyone seemed to be out for ‘number one’.  There definitely wasn’t another Jack and Chloe.  No one else could afford to be that loyal.  After all O’Brian lost her job once under Erin Driscoll because of that loyalty.  Karen met Driscoll once somewhere at a forgettable formal function before she met Bill.  She seemed to be inflexible to be in counter-terrorism.  Erin saw the world in black and white.  Well, the world of terrorism was a grey area.

            Sandra had heard the latter portion of her brother’s phone conversation with who she assumed to be Karen Hayes. “What is it, Wayne?” She asked alarmed from her post in the doorway.  The former Commander in Chief was startled he hadn’t heard her come into his office.

            The look of anger and pain only worried her further. “That was Karen.”

            “National Security?”

            “You could say that.” Without Jack Bauer to defend her America, was definitely vulnerable. “Jack Bauer was killed earlier today, San...”

            “What?  How?” She questioned with incredulity.  This wasn’t happening, first David, now the man who avenged his untimely death.  Was life this cruel?

            “Ambushed.”

            “Chloe?  Josh and Kim?”

            “Trying to cope.” He explained.        

            “When do we go?”

            Wayne smiled. “As soon as I inform my detail.” She nodded.

            “I’ll go pack.” With that she left.  Jack Bauer was not only a friend of David’s but a connection to him for his siblings as well.  Bauer saw past David’s presidency to see the man.  That was why David valued the late CTU agent.

            Karen had a feeling that the former President and his sister would arrive before the day was over.  Wayne Palmer was never a waiting by the phone kind of a man.  Nor was Sandra the type of a woman who would let friends go unconsoled.  They had gotten to know each better that tense hour that Wayne was in limbo.

            No one spoke as they returned to CTU each man lost in his own thoughts and pain.  Josh dreaded having to face his stepmother.  Witnessing the anguish in her face.  At least his sweet Clare was there maybe she could make sense of his shattered world.  When they arrived he didn’t follow his father’s body down to Medical.  There was nothing he could do for his father now.  He needed his beloved wife.

            Her only thought was to find Josh and comfort him.  He was like his father therefore later he would have to be strong for his sister and stepmother.  But now he could seek comfort from her.  They met in the corridor that would have lead to the main floor.  At the very sight of her he sighed with relief.  She said nothing but simply opened her arms in which he gladly walked into.  He was engulfed in warm understanding and her favorite perfume.  He felt better already.

            “I can’t believe he’s gone.” He murmured into her ear, sounding like a little lost boy.

            “I know.  Me either.  You okay?”

            “I think so.” He assured her. “How is she?”

            She sighed sadly. “Not doing well, not doing well at all.” Still entangled he began to stroll towards the main area.

            “How are you?”

            She stopped, perturbed. “Stop, Josh.  Don’t worry about me.” She replied pointedly.

            “Of course I worry about you.  You’re my wife.  I love you.”

            “Josh?” He froze.

            “Kim.” He sighed.

            “I called her.” Clarissa explained softly.  He nodded, grateful.

            All the way over Kim had hoped that she had been dreaming.  But seeing their father’s blood covering her brother’s shirt she knew it was all too real.  Tears sprang to her blue eyes.  Her brother lammed to gather her petite form in his strong arms. “No, it can’t be.  He wouldn’t leave me again.” She whimpered into his broad chest.

            She grabbed onto his shirt as for dear life. “He told me to tell you that he is proud of the woman you’ve become.” He recounted through his tears. “He loved you, Kim.”

            Years ago she would have doubted. “I know, Josh.” She said through her own tears. “At least Dad is at peace finally.”

            Josh was glad that their father was at repose.  Because he would not rest until his father’s killer was brought to justice.  “Go find Chase.” He urged his sister kindly. “Dad’s death hit him hard I think.” His older sister nodded sadly. 

            “I love you, little bro. You too, Clare.” She left dejectedly to find her husband to seek the comfort only he could offer.  To provide him the solace he would never ask for but needed.

            “Thank you, Clare.  It had to be hard for you.”

            She nodded. “But not as hard as telling Chloe.”

            “You told...”

            “Dad did.  I was there.  Oh gosh Josh she’s lost.” She sobbed. He suspected as much.  To top it all off you know she hates acting like ‘a girl’ and here she is crying.” Under different circumstances he would have laughed.

            “I hope I can convince her.” He said anxiously.

            “Convince her of what?”

            “Dad’s love.” He replied they had made their way to the main area and all eyes were on him.  The news had spread like wildfire so everyone knew by now.  A mixture of pity and uncertainty was in their eyes.  He didn’t know what they needed from him.  He hoped they knew he wasn’t Jack Bauer.  That no one could truly replace him.  That Chase and he with the help of Mike Doyle would certainly try.  The world deserved an attempt to pick up the slack that the absence of Jack Bauer would on the world.  But first the family had some business to finish.  He couldn’t do his job the way his father taught him to do it when the nagging questions of who and why and seeing them receive justice.  Like his father dealt with Nina’s presence he would do it the legal way.  But if he had to discharge his weapon so be it.  He might not be a religious person but he believed that the Supreme Being will take care of whoever was on the other end of that sniper rifle.

            Bill called his own wife to tell her the terrible news.  Also it relieved him to hear to her voice.  She had rushed to his side to help him cope with whatever he needed to her to do.  Her presence calmed him enough to his job and to plan for the future.  Karen had taken one look at the emotionally broken Chloe and began to comfort her.  Leaving him to return to business at hand.

            That’s how Josh and Clarissa found their stepmoms.  Huddled together in a corner.  Karen looked up and let her eyes express her sympathy to her son in law.  He acknowledged with a nod.  But everyone’s real attention was on the bereft woman in her arms. “Chlo.” He whispered.  Her head snapped up.

            “Josh…” She whimpered.  He gave her a sad smile.

            “He wasn’t doing anything dangerous.  He was doing everything by the book.” He promised. “Cautious even.” When they had finally gotten together Jack promise on his own accord that he would stop doing stunts during missions.  That he would play it safe.  She would have never asked him to do so, but was greatly relieved.  This wasn’t to say that Jack was like the rest of the agents, he still kept his individuality and edge.  All she ever asked of him was not to storm any foreign soil.  He laughed heartily before agreeing.

            That’s when he explained something to her. “After Teri died I lost my anchor.  She had been my center since I was twenty-something. So I thought it would be easier…”

            “For whom, Jack?  You or them?” He smiled.

            “I told myself it was for them, that I was protecting them from a fate similar to Teri’s. But I wasn’t, I protecting myself from having to make a commitment to them.  They were expendable at any time.”

            “Not all of them, Jack.” She corrected.

            “Audrey?” She nodded.

            “I was there, remember?  I saw how you looked at her.”

            “You’re right.  I thought I could be happy with her.  I wanted to be happy with.  I thought I had found the woman who would be my ‘soft place’ to fall after a hard day.  Someone I could truly talk about my work and she would understand.  Forgive me when I had to resort to actions that weren’t nice or even legal in order to save our country.” He sighed sadly. “To tell me that those actions don’t make me like the people I hunt.  I wanted to love her, I even tricked myself into believing that I loved her.  Would I risk everything for her or my life as Tony did for Michelle? No, I would leave without a moment’s hesitation if it meant it would save the world.”   He paused. “You know what?  I had found that woman though, you.” Chloe blushed. “I just didn’t realize it yet.”

            “Jack...” She pleaded.

            “I’m slow, I know.” He pressed with a smirk.

            “Well, duh.” He chuckled.

            “Well now that I know O’Brian I’m not letting you go.  So don’t even ask.” As if she would.

            “Can I ask you a question?”

            “Of course.”

            “If you didn’t love Audrey then why did you risk so much for?  To get her back?” He nodded. It was a fair question. “I heard you, Jack, you told her you loved her.”

            “I do love her, but in the way I love you I loved Teri.  I told her I loved her because...” He delayed., he knew that Chloe was already insecure about the truth of his feelings.  She believed and was okay with that he was pulling a ‘Jerry Maguire.’  “Because I was settling for making her happy and being truly happy.  Chloe, I know she loved me and wanted the whole package. The house with the white picket fence, the two and a half kids plus the dog.  I thought I could be content with that.”

            Was he crazy? “But Jack that’s not you.  You need danger, you thrive on it.  I may not like it since I do kinda want you home safe every night.  But to take that away from you is to take away your life force away.  God knows your need for crisis has gotten me into so much trouble, but I wouldn’t change any of it!” How did he get so lucky?  To find a woman who understands him and isn’t afraid of him.  Not only that loves him.  How could he have been so blind all these years?  That the one thing he’s been searching for was always a phone call away.  The more important question was why would Morris win such a treasure and throw it away?  Having asked that he was glad that he did because she had brought him brought immense happiness.  Alternatively he wanted to throttled him for causing Chloe so much pain and shaking his hand.

            “That’s not all I need anymore.” He proclaimed suggestively.  Chloe’s blush deepened.  His significative words pleased her deeply.  Her body tingled with anticipation.

            “I’m glad.” She replied softly.  Content to be simply wrapped up in his warm and safe embrace.

            “You know it all makes sense now.”

            “What does?” She asked into his strong shoulder.

            “When I was in that Chinese prison...” He felt her body stiffen. “I kept recalling your face.” She relaxed slightly. “For the longest time I stupidly thought it was because you were the last person Bill sent in before transport.  But it was my subconscious telling me I was in love with you.” He paused. “Maybe Bill knew.”

            “What?” Chloe screeched horrified.  Her lover chortled. “Why else would he send you up last, Chloe?” He posed logically.  She often wondered why se was allowed to say good-bye to him.  She wanted desperately to hold onto him and never let go.  To beg him to not let them take him away her...from Kim.  It was by sheer will that she didn’t tell him the truth, that she loved him with her whole heart.  That she will always hope that he will return to her one day.  Her heart broke that day.  It was the hardest thing she ever had to do, watch Jack being escorted onto boat like a common criminal.  Thank heavens she had the next day off because she cried herself to sleep.  In her heart of hearts she knew she probably would never see Jack Bauer alive.  Bless Bill Buchanan or giving her an image of Jack she could really hold onto.  Who knew what he will look like when he returned.  That’s not how she wanted to remembered the man she loved.  Then eighteen months later Buchanan was gracious enough t come to her privately to announce that Jack was being released.  Her heart skipped a beat with exhilaration.  Her prayers had been answered.  He was alive!!  She wouldn’t know in what condition until she saw him for herself.  Until she could touch him herself.  But all that had to wait because all hell broke loose.  It would be hours before she would be reunited with Jack.  Even if it was a quick one, leaving her wanting more.  Then again when does her encounters with Jack not leave her with wanting more?

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